The Great Sort-Of Escape

After Granny She and Grandad Butterworth came for breakfast, Daddy had a phone call from my friend Jenni. She is a very nice lady who used to come and play with my big sister a lot before Daddy even met Mummy but, and apparently this is very important to point out, never ever played with Daddy. Don't know why, I like playing with him, after all he is lots of fun.

Anyway, Jenni (who refers to my Daddy as Donkey Boy, not sure what that's all about either) wanted to bring her baby Lilyana, her Big Brother Dandan and their Daddy Chrisboo to play with me. Wasn't that kind? So after Granny and Grandad went off to London to see Aunty Holly, they came over so they could pay homage to the wonderfulness that is me.

Well they were suitably cooing, but there was also a lot of cooing going on over Lilyana as well as she kept walking between the grownups with her arms out. This is one of her New Things apparently, like my Late Night Poopoos and Standing On The Furniture. Everyone seemed very impressed, I just watched very intently and took notes. After all, anything that earns this much cooing's gotta be worth a go.

My big sister took Dan up to her room and they played for a while. They seemed to have a good time judging by the thumpity bumpityness going on. After a good play Dandan even got to go and help Amber do the Swapping of the Bunnies, but he had to stay on the patio in case he got bunny poo all over his trainers. Daddy told everyone a funny story about how a little boy called Flynn wouldn't do that one day and fell arms first right into the bunnies' Poo Pit at the end of the garden. Oopsy, that can't have been nice!

The Poo Pit is where our rabbits mostly go to toilet. Daddy says it's like a trap in one of his roleplaying games because the soil has gotten so fertile from all the poo that it is almost all grown over with really lush plants now and you can't see it and need to make a big Spot Roll to not step in it. But even though it's pretty gross, it's very handy because we don't need to clean Mister Scruffles or Syco out as often as we might do if it didn't exist. When we let Mister Scruffles out in the morning the first thing he does is rush up there and sit on his hindpaws looking all...relieved.

As it was a nice day I decided we should all go down to Christchurch Quay and see the seagulls again like I did yesterday. But when we got there, though there were quite a few and Mummy had to duck once or twice to avoid a wing buffet, it still wasn't as crazy as yesterday. I didn't get a chance to grab another gull this time, dammit!

After we fed the ducks, swans, seagulls and cygnets we went to the Playground. I like the playground, there is usually lots of children in it and adults to coo over me, plus I get strapped into a hoodie top on the swingswongs and giggle and giggle as Mummy and Daddy push me backwards and forwards.

However after I did my swingswong, Dandan decided to give Amber a race across the green. He likes to run a long way when he's in the mood, his Daddy said. And he certainly ran off very far and she didn't seem able to keep up, which was a bit odd as he's four and she's twelve. In the end Daddy had to go and run after him and bring him back and no matter how hard he tried to run off, Daddy managed to catch him up. But then Daddy's even older than Amber so he must be really fit and sporty, right?

Daddy says that anyone reading the Blog may consider this sentence a Straight Face.

Once Dandan's sort-of-escape was over Amber saw her friend Alice helping her little sister around the climbing frame. I want to try that soon, the climbing frame looks like good fun. It has ropes and bars and poles and a slide, I'll be spoilt for choice!

Alice hadn't met me yet, so she came and had a good coo over me while Mummy changed my nappy on the bench. Once she had finished worshipping me we decided it was time to go, and so we said goodbye to everyone and headed home.

What a day it was, all these people coming to see me. Because I was feeling thoroughly content with all the attention I'd received I decided not to play up with my last feed tonight, besides this time it was Mummy giving it to me instead of Daddy, bonus! However, thinking about it as I'm dictating this to Daddy whilst lying in my little cot, it's Daddy who's going to get me to sleep tonight so I've been kind of cheated again...

Night night and sleep tight everyone.

So Close But Yet So Far

You know how I always wanted to grab one my my shrieky seagull friends and bring him home to play? Weeeell, I managed to do the first bit today down at Christchurch Quay!

See, Granny She and Grandad Butterworth came down to see me yesterday, and we went down to the Quay so they could see me feed the birdies. And they certainly picked the right day because there were huge swarms of seagulls down with the boats. Mummy reckons there must have been at least fifty, that's like all the seagulls in the whole wide world!

Normally Daddy holds me while Mummy feeds the birdies, but he had to go home as my big sister was due in from school soon so he had to be there to let her in. So to make it easier Mummy knelt down with me to throw bread up in the air for the seagulls, and thats where the fun started. See, because Mummy couldn't get the bread too high from down there, the seagulls had to swoop down really low, and one of the cheeky wotsits started hovering right in front of me and snatching the bread from her hand.

But you can't get in range of the Lulu tentacles without consequences, oh no. One good lunge as he came into land, and if Mummy hadn't been holding onto me I reckon I could have gotten more than the wingtip I did get. I am faster than a hovering seagull, me. Daddy says this is further proof that I am in fact an alien.

On thing though. The seagull didn't seem best pleased when I demonstrated my superspeed, in fact he said some very rude words in Shriek as he flew backwards. I didn't know what half of them even meant, but I'm sure they weren't nice words.

Once I was done harassing the seagulls we went back home and Granny She and Grandad Butterworth went to check in to their hotel. Mummy played with me for a little while then went out to go and have dinner with Granny and Grandad, so come last feed time it was just Daddy and me again.

Well I had to play to the crowd, didn't I? So I gave Daddy all my best moves after about fifteen seconds of drinking - the Side-to-Side Headfling, the Throwback, the Arching Spine and of course the essential I-Don't-Feel-Like-Feeding-Just-Now-Thank-You Shriek, thus waking up my unfortunate big sister who had only just gone to bed.

But here's the thing. The last couple of nights these extremely effective delaying tactics have resulted in the Return Of The Mummy before bedtime. But this time Daddy was annoyingly persistent and after a good Yell break he only went and got me to drink over half the feed, didn't he? I must be falling down on the job, because I was so shattered after all that effort that I fell asleep about ten seconds after he got me in my Baby Sleeping Bag and laid me down in the cot.

And I still never got my seagull.

Daddy And The Curse Of The Delayed Dinners

Well, no one can say I didn't have a busy, busy day today. I've been all over the place and it's liable to be even busier tomorrow apparently :)

Because of my sicky sister's tummy still being a bit wobbly, Mummy took her into school in the car this morning to help her keep her strength up after being on a diet of rich tea biccies for two days. Poor Amber, now she is at Big School she has to go and see all her teachers and find out all the oodles of work she has to catch up on. I went with her and Mummy to see her into school and so Daddy could get a bit of extra sleep for once.

Shame Mummy was being incredibly loud on the phone when she came back in with me really. Ah well, c'est la parenthood.

I didn't want my next feed. I'm not sure why, I think maybe I must have thought they'd watered it down like yesterday. I wasn't having any of that nonsense again, no Sir! So I had a bit of an empty tummy when Mummy took me to my First Splash baby swimming group, but I didn't care because they have these really fun toys to play with in the pool. I got to play with the Purple Starfish and the Nemo toy, but then I got my hands on my favourite - the Froggy.

Would I let go of it, even when the session finished and it was time to get out of the pool? Well, I'm sure you all know the answer to that one.

When we came back from Swimming I was in a much better mood, and I noshed my feed just fine this time. However just as Daddy took advantage of Mummy giving me my milkies and sat down to enjoy his scrambled eggies on toast, I detonated a Size Eight in my nappy. And the word 'detonate' is accurate too as it exploded out of the top of my nappy, went almost up to my shoulders inside my T-Shirt and got all over Mummy's top and trousers.

See now I thought Daddy would be really pleased that I got Mummy so brilliantly, but it turns out that grownups don't like having to deal with poo when they are about to eat. I don't know why that is, but he didn't seem very happy about having to help change me. He said something about it being just as well he doesn't like Brown Sauce too, I think that's a joke.

After the huge Changing of the Nappy and the Eating of the Cold Scrambled Eggies, we went to Christchurch so Mummy could buy a new hockey stick, and we saw a nice lady in the sports shop who was my big sister's dinner lady once upon a time. She didn't realise that Mummy and Daddy were connected and was very pleased that I was Daddy's baby, and asked lots of questions about me and how Amber was doing at Big School.

Then Daddy walked me down to Christchurch Quay in the buggy while Mummy took the car, but we literally only got three metres before he saw his friend Denise, who hadn't met me yet and wanted to have a good coo. I like cooing, it always makes me smile so wide my dummy falls out.

When we got to the Quay, the seagulls were out in force. Within the first few seconds of Mummy starting to throw bread in the air, we had dozens and dozens swarming us. They made so much noise even the ducks seemed a bit worried, and there were so many buzzing us that Daddy got a wing buffet on his head, and had to step back very quickly with me when two of them had a mid-air collision and one nearly landed on me.

I just wasn't quick enough to grab him and bring him home though. Poo.

When we got back from Christchurch, Mummy went off to pick Amber up from school, and I suddenly realised I hadn't had a sleep all day. So Daddy cuddled me off and I went in my bouncer until Mummy and Amber came home, and she snuggled me on the sofa and we had our afternoon nap together. When I woke up I felt much better and I had lots of cuddles with Mummy and Daddy while Amber did her catching-up homework. Unfortunately Amber then had a little moment when she went to get a towel for her shower...

It seems that earlier on Mummy banged into a picture frame that was on a dresser table in Mummy and Daddy's room and moved it out of the way onto the bed. Then Daddy took a load of washing upstairs and put it on the bed without knowing the picture was there underneath. And when Amber clambered onto the bed to reach the airing cupboard there was the proverbial cracking sound, and that was the end of the picture frame.

Problem was of course that now there was lots of little bits of glass on some of the washing and on the duvet cover - this is officially Not Good. Funny thing was this happened just as Daddy's meatballs and pasta that Mummy had kindly cooked him was ready, so he had to wait for his food again!

One day Daddy will get to sit and eat his meals when they're actually ready. It will almost certainly be a Tuesday.

Later on, I felt a bit hard done by when Mummy went to see her friend Dan at the pub after Amber went to bed, so I had a bit of a mimp at Daddy and he took me out into the back garden to chill me out.And joy, the moon was out and the clouds couldn't cover it. I spent ages staring at it once Daddy pointed it out to me. There were lots of lovely stars as well and we stayed out there for quite a long time. I was so relaxed that I had another little nap before my last feed.

Mummy came back from the pub just in time to put me to bed, bonus! Daddy got me in my baby sleeping bag thingy and then Mummy stayed with me through the inevitable Footslamming and Dummygobbing. Daddy says that if I was a Dwarf baby I'd be from the Footslammer Clan as I like to do it so much.

Well that's about it for another busy, busy day. Night night and sleep tight everyone.