Violence, Mayhem, Ducks

Utter chaos ensued at Mudeford Quay tonight. First Daddy was trying to get revenge on Amber for trying to annoy him by talking through his headphones at him in the car, and he let the car door swing back when she had her hands full of bread so she'd have to put the bread down to open it again. But she didn't notice.

Ding!

Then whilst nursing her sore head, she tripped up coming out of the car and the loaf she was holding swung out and hit Daddy right between the legs.

Ding!

Then when we got the harbour, Amber wouldn't stop singing the really annoying bit from 'The Lion Sleeps Tonight' so Mummy advanced on her and swung a loaf at her - but she tried to avoid it, tripped over and went backwards onto the floor.

Ding!

But it wasn't over, because Mummy was laughing so hard by now that she wasn't paying very much attention to where she was throwing, and she hit a duck in the beak with a slice of bread.

Ding!

I consider myself rather lucky to have escaped the carnage. Specially as Daddy kind of owed me one for managing to get poo all over him earlier when I had an escaped detonation and I kicked my little poopy legs at him.

I'd had some good fun with him out the garden before I fired it off though. We even saw Katie do her first poo of the day in the Poo Pit when we swapped the bunnies out together. She squatted down on the edge and then gradually kind of edged backwards, inch by inch before deciding she'd found a comfy spot. It was very strange how precise she was.

Daddy was back at his silly gaming tonight though, playing his 'bluff Yorkshireman' Albert Woolshaggery in Uncle Julian's Hawkmoon game. Uncle Julian has assured Mummy that he really did randomly role a Grim Northerner and this wasn't just him being mean about Yorkshireness. What are the odds?

So anyway, because Daddy wasn't here naturally I decided I would have some quality time with just myself and Mummy after Amber went to bed. So I stayed awake till gone 9 even though my last feed was at 8, wasn't that kind of me?

Night night and sleep tight everyone.

The Great Sort-Of Escape

After Granny She and Grandad Butterworth came for breakfast, Daddy had a phone call from my friend Jenni. She is a very nice lady who used to come and play with my big sister a lot before Daddy even met Mummy but, and apparently this is very important to point out, never ever played with Daddy. Don't know why, I like playing with him, after all he is lots of fun.

Anyway, Jenni (who refers to my Daddy as Donkey Boy, not sure what that's all about either) wanted to bring her baby Lilyana, her Big Brother Dandan and their Daddy Chrisboo to play with me. Wasn't that kind? So after Granny and Grandad went off to London to see Aunty Holly, they came over so they could pay homage to the wonderfulness that is me.

Well they were suitably cooing, but there was also a lot of cooing going on over Lilyana as well as she kept walking between the grownups with her arms out. This is one of her New Things apparently, like my Late Night Poopoos and Standing On The Furniture. Everyone seemed very impressed, I just watched very intently and took notes. After all, anything that earns this much cooing's gotta be worth a go.

My big sister took Dan up to her room and they played for a while. They seemed to have a good time judging by the thumpity bumpityness going on. After a good play Dandan even got to go and help Amber do the Swapping of the Bunnies, but he had to stay on the patio in case he got bunny poo all over his trainers. Daddy told everyone a funny story about how a little boy called Flynn wouldn't do that one day and fell arms first right into the bunnies' Poo Pit at the end of the garden. Oopsy, that can't have been nice!

The Poo Pit is where our rabbits mostly go to toilet. Daddy says it's like a trap in one of his roleplaying games because the soil has gotten so fertile from all the poo that it is almost all grown over with really lush plants now and you can't see it and need to make a big Spot Roll to not step in it. But even though it's pretty gross, it's very handy because we don't need to clean Mister Scruffles or Syco out as often as we might do if it didn't exist. When we let Mister Scruffles out in the morning the first thing he does is rush up there and sit on his hindpaws looking all...relieved.

As it was a nice day I decided we should all go down to Christchurch Quay and see the seagulls again like I did yesterday. But when we got there, though there were quite a few and Mummy had to duck once or twice to avoid a wing buffet, it still wasn't as crazy as yesterday. I didn't get a chance to grab another gull this time, dammit!

After we fed the ducks, swans, seagulls and cygnets we went to the Playground. I like the playground, there is usually lots of children in it and adults to coo over me, plus I get strapped into a hoodie top on the swingswongs and giggle and giggle as Mummy and Daddy push me backwards and forwards.

However after I did my swingswong, Dandan decided to give Amber a race across the green. He likes to run a long way when he's in the mood, his Daddy said. And he certainly ran off very far and she didn't seem able to keep up, which was a bit odd as he's four and she's twelve. In the end Daddy had to go and run after him and bring him back and no matter how hard he tried to run off, Daddy managed to catch him up. But then Daddy's even older than Amber so he must be really fit and sporty, right?

Daddy says that anyone reading the Blog may consider this sentence a Straight Face.

Once Dandan's sort-of-escape was over Amber saw her friend Alice helping her little sister around the climbing frame. I want to try that soon, the climbing frame looks like good fun. It has ropes and bars and poles and a slide, I'll be spoilt for choice!

Alice hadn't met me yet, so she came and had a good coo over me while Mummy changed my nappy on the bench. Once she had finished worshipping me we decided it was time to go, and so we said goodbye to everyone and headed home.

What a day it was, all these people coming to see me. Because I was feeling thoroughly content with all the attention I'd received I decided not to play up with my last feed tonight, besides this time it was Mummy giving it to me instead of Daddy, bonus! However, thinking about it as I'm dictating this to Daddy whilst lying in my little cot, it's Daddy who's going to get me to sleep tonight so I've been kind of cheated again...

Night night and sleep tight everyone.

Birthday Girl

It was my big sister's actual birthday today, she is 12 years old. Daddy says he can't believe she has survived this long without bodily dismemberment by her closest relative i.e. him. Though I always thought bodily dismemberment was Syco's job. Certainly that suicidal Robin Redbreast coming back to play in the garden again today must be a prime candidate for the full treatment.

My big sister had lots of presents to open today, mostly from Mummy and Daddy. They bought her books and crossword puzzles and DVDs and some funny socks with skulls on. Aunty Hayley from all the way in London bought her a DVD, my Great-Aunty Jayney and Great-Uncle Bob bought her this very woolly coat thingummy, for a minute I thought they'd skinned a sheep and sent it in the post. Granny Butterworth sent her lots of money for new clothes, Great-Auntie Avril sent her a cool scrapbook and Granny and Grandad themselves just sent her lots of money to spend on whatever she likes!

Tomorrow Grandad Jonathan and Granny She are coming down all the way from Yorkshire. That's the place with all the hills Daddy's absolutely not allowed to make jokes about, ever, on pain of pain. I'm sure they will bring her a cool present too.

Amber seemed a bit stressed tonight, Birthday or not she had lots of homework and she was having trouble with a poem about a parrot. She also had to clean out Syco's hutch, which must be a very messy job what with all the bunny weewee, poo pellets and pieces of cat. But we had lots of playtime at bedtime while Daddy made my feed and then later on wrestled with her duvet cover after washing her sheets today. She even chilled me out and made me giggle when I was howling at waking up after falling asleep in the back garden with Daddy. I must have been tired, I almost never do that. It was a special night too, the first time I had been outside while it was cold enough for my breath to steam. Yay for my super yellow Blanky!

I made sure I stayed up for Mummy's return from seeing her friend Dan at the pub by the simple expedient of detonating another Size Six in my nappy in mid-feed. I think Daddy is getting a bit unamused by the late night poopoos. But I got my Mummy cuddles at bedtime, so I think I can live with his crushing disappointment.

Night night and sleep tight everyone.

Suicide Birdie

We have an ickle Robin Redbreast in our back garden. He appeared in the morning, and started bob-bobbing about. First he bob-bobbed onto the grass, then onto the fence. Then he bob-bobbed onto the bar underneath the table that Syco's hutch sits on and Daddy pointed him out to me through the patio door. I thought he was cute.

But through the day weird things begin to happen. First Daddy saw him bob-bob onto the table that Syco's hutch sits on and stand on it. Right next to the bars. Syco perked up at the chance to try and claw something, but then he seemed to come to his senses and fly off. But then later on after Syco and Mister Scruffles had been swapped out we heard my sicky-sister-who-felt-better-but-then-got-all-sicky-again-but-is-
now-feeling-better-a-second-time making a noise like a dying badger in the kitchen while she ate her tea. Daddy and I rushed out to see if she was all right but it turned out to be wheezy laughter.

The robin, it seems, had landed in front of Syco. She went all on the alert, ready to disembowel. But then it bob-bobbed very fast over to play with her and before she could do anything it had landed again - on her nose.

Apparently she went a bit, well, syco. But the thing was that being on her nose it was out of reach for any of her usual tactics - biting, clawing and especially kicking unless she wanted to concuss herself with her own back paws. So it got to fly off again unscathed, and Syco had a very embarassed tear around the garden to make herself feel better and settled back down to eating grass again.

Daddy and Amber are very impressed with the Robin Redbreast, though Daddy reckons she will be ready for it next time and all we will find will be a few little red feathers floating forlornly on the wind. But still, what a Brave Birdie he must be.

Still A Snotbox

Daddy promised he would write this when he got up to help my big sister be ready for school tomorrow, but he had too many jobs to do last night while Mummy was over at Aunty Chelle's to post then, plus I wasn't exactly cooperative about going to sleep. Because I'm not feeling all that well and am still full of cold, I didn't want my last bottle and didn't want to go to sleep at all.

See I haven't been in my cot the last two nights due to all the snottiness. Well, I have, but actually Daddy came up with the idea of making sure I was propped up by having me sleep in my bouncer in my cot so Mummy could still reach over and cuddle me if I woke up but I wouldn't be as horribly snotty and sleepless as I was laid down flat.

I've still had...better nights though. Daddy spent the day trying to get me to catch up as much sleep as possible, leaning down and patting me back to sleep every time I stirred and cuddling me whenever that didn't work. In the afternoon I slept for 2 and a half hours, most of it on Mummy, my longest daytime nap ever! In fact Daddy had to tell poor Aunty Chelle that Mummy was going to be late because I was still asleep on her, hehehe.

I couldn't go over to the Bowlplex for my big sister's Birthday Party though, I was really bummed about that. Mummy said everybody had a good time though, and she brought me back a Teddybear, bonus! Amber's friend Frankie came back with us for the afternoon and I gave her lots of smiles. She says I look like her little sister Livvy when she was ickle.

To sum up, I have not been a well bunny. I only got a half hour outside in the back garden with Daddy yesterday, that's how ill I was! Though Syco gave herself a clean right in front of me, that was really fascinating. Probably washing off the blood from the last cat she disembowelled, Daddy reckons.

Anyway, I will get Daddy to tell you all about my day again today and hope things will get back to normal again tonight as I'm sure I feel much better now.

Our Bunny: Still An Idiot

Syco kept jumping over the sawdust bale into the kitchen tonight and Daddy had to help me chase her out again three times. Then when the tumbledrier finished he shut the door and was very relieved that she couldn't do it again.

Then about a minute later there was the sound of bunny meeting glass. She is just that stubborn, and also it seems rather unobservant. What a dimlo bunny she is.

Our Bunny Is An Idiot

Syco thinks she is so strong and tough that she can jump back in her hutch even when Daddy has closed the door. This is Not True. But it is very amusing to watch, especially when she lopes off as if nothing has happened and it was some other bunny that just made a total pillock of herself.

My Wonderful Garden

I love our back garden. I'd spend all day out there with Daddy (apart from the times when I'm having my feed or down one of the Quays feeding the birdies, obviously) if I could.

When I'm in a bad mood I tell Daddy in my most persuasive Yell that I want to go outside. So he puts on his T-shirt and my jacket if its cold and we go out the back and into the garden.

There are so many fun things to look at out there. We have two bunny rabbits, who are called Mister Scruffles and Syco. Well that's what Daddy calls them, anyway. Mummy and Amber call Syco 'Katie' instead, but Daddy says 'no, she's a cat-beating syco'.

When Syco is in her hutch she doesn't seem to do very much, and Daddy says she is doing her impresson of a Big Fat Dead Thing. It's quite a good impression actually.

Mister Scruffles has been changing lately. He was brown all over, but now he seems to have lots of black patches on him, especially around his bottom. Mummy has been wrapping him up in a cloth and doing things to him. Mummy says he needs to shed his extra fur, but he doesn't look very happy about it. When she wraps him up, his fur flies everywhere and Daddy says Mummy is plucking him like a chicken, whatever that is.

There is a big tree in our garden. I can spend ages watching the wind move the leaves about, and today I sat on Daddy's lap for five minutes looking at its reflection in the patio doors. I think it's so amazing.

Daddy says we are on a 'geese flight path', whatever that means. But those great big birds that make the 'honk, honk' noise and fly over twenty at a time are wonderful, I follow them until they are just dots in the sky.

I love the sky too. I look at it in total silence for ages. Daddy tells me what he thinks the weather is going to do when I am looking up at it. Tonight there were big clouds so he says maybe it will rain and all the grass will be wet in the morning.

Our garden has the best sky ever. It is huge and blue, and at night has hundreds of stars in it that I love to look at wrapped up in Daddy's arms and my special yellow Blanky.

I have had lots of time in the garden today. Once Syco sniffed my toes and I giggled. Daddy says she is figuring out what I am and whether or not I am edible. The way I saw her polish off the carrot Mummy gave her today he might not be totally kidding. I'm sure nothing can get that fat being purely vegetarian, that's for sure.

Tomorrow I am going to see my friend Chloe. She shares her toys with me and is really nice. I'll tell you all about it afterwards.

Night night and sleep tight everyone.