Witnesses report that a brave Daddy heroically let a swan peck at his arm - twice - to prevent it from possibly doing the same to his cute, gorgeous, insomniac baby girl. It seems the Daddy and baby (with big sister) were at 'the bridges' in Christchurch when the swan decided to come out of the water and try to eat their lunches. When they failed to share it grew agitated and was only diverted by some of the duck's bread they had bought. However, our intrepid reporter has discovered that the swan then decided to try to sneak up on the stationary buggy just as the baby was being lifted out for the ritual Feeding of the Birdies, and came within a few inches of the baby's arms.
The Daddy then heroically placed his arm between the baby and the hissing, greedy swan and quickly unstrapped her and lifted her out whilst fending off the nasty swan. He was very brave and noble and wonderful and didn't tell our reporter to say that at all.
They say lightning doesn't strike twice, but our cute and gorgeous reporter's sources tell us that in this case this isn't true. These poor, brave people have been victims of multiple swan attacks on previous occasions.
"I don't know why they seem to target us," said the Daddy, shrugging his ruggedly handsome and noble face. "They must have just got to know our faces by now and that we always have lots and lots of bread because we love feeding the birdies so very very much. And they're such greedygrots that they don't want to wait for us to actually give them the bread."
Have you been a victim of a swan attack too? Are you worried by the possibility of escalating swan attacks? Send your swan attack horror stories to the Editor at tabloidbirdiefrenzies@lulunews.com.
Saturday 29 November 2008
Thursday 27 November 2008
Bournemouth Bournemouth Bournemouth
Yes Bournemouth, Lulu was back! You see my big sister had managed to leave her Peebag on the bus (still having trouble getting why she carries a bag of wee around to school three times a fortnight, but there you go) but luckily it had been handed in to the driver and so Mummy and Daddy took me into Bournemouth to get it and decided to make an afternoon of it.
I didn't want to go in the car at first, and had a righteous mimp about it. Well all right, to be precise I didn't want to have any clothes on at all and had a righteous mimp about that, and then had a righteous mimp about getting in my coat and the car seat. However Daddy cheered me up from the back seat by pulling silly faces at me and talking to me as usual and my mood soon improved.
When we got to Bournemouth we parked opposite one of Daddy and Amber's favourite places - the great big Ohdeeon. This is a place where you go to watch films on great big giant screens and you dont have to put tapes or DVDs in them first. Daddy and Amber used to go there on a Sunday morning to see lots of films because they did very cheap movie tickets for kiddiewid films. They even had an 'on the way to the cinema' song and everything!
After Daddy reminisced about the Ohdeeon we walked down to a bookshop called Waterstones and bought some books about children who have misplaced their things but take a while to find them, like "That's Not My Dragon" and "That's Not My Rabbit". I guess they must be for my sister as she is always losing things. Maybe there's one called "That's Not My Peebag".
I started to get a bit mimpy in Waterstones as Mummy got to the counter then asked about 10,000 more books. That's what Daddy said, anyway. She said it was only one or two but she was in there an awfully long time so Daddy wheeled me backwards and forwards outside untul she was done.
I was still a bit mimpy when we walked down to get Amber's peebag from the Yellow Bus office near the big Square. I soon got distracted though, as there were lots and lots of things to see. Every year in Bournemouth as December draws near there are lots and lots of new stalls that spring up outside, both in the Square and leading up Commercial Hill. They are all in neat wooden booths that look like mini-cabins, and they sell lots of food and drink and christmassy things for all the people that flood Bournemouth looking for presents at this time of year. People were just starting to put them up when we got there, so if we go back again before Christmas there will be lots and lots of cool food and shiny things to play with, yay Bournemouth!
After going to get the peebag and seeing the stalls being put up, we went inside a shopping mall on Commercial Hill. Mummy went upstairs to the sports shop and Daddy took me into a place called Humv to look at the Metal CDs. Apparently one of his fave bands from when he was young and had hair down to his bottom (still have trouble picturing that) has a new album out and he got all excited, bless him.
However by this point I was getting tired and just like last time everybody seemed far too busy to coo over me, so I started turning heads by conducting our conversation in Yell. Daddy stopped looking through the CDs and talked to me for a minute, and a very miserable looking boy with the floppiest fringe ever bumped into the Tank and gave Daddy a really evil stare, as if it was his fault that he missed seeing a four foot tall ABV (Armoured Baby Vehicle). Daddy politely suggested that if he cut his fringe he might be able to avoid stationary objects, and he stalked off with his lip wobbling.
I think Daddy made him cry. I know I'd cry if I had a haircut that stupid.
We went outside of Humv to wait for Mummy, but she took ages and ages upstairs doing her shopping (again). When she eventually did emerge we went to have our lunch in the Moon! Twas funny, I always imagined it would be more cratery and white, but instead this Moon was full of people having drinkies and nosh.
We found a little table in the corner of the Family Area, and the momentous occasion of my first ever sit down meal occurred. Mummy went to order her and Daddy's food and get some hot water to heat my bottle up, and when she had got it Daddy gave my bottle while Mummy went outside for some potential lung cancer, as Daddy puts it. I really don't think Daddy likes her smoking again, you know.
Well, I can tell you I felt very grown up indeed, having my bottle in a proper restaurant like the grownups do. I am a proper Big Girl now!
Mummy and Daddy both like eating out, as Daddy says that food always tastes better when someone else has cooked it, and Mummy generally adds that with his cooking it's pretty much a certainty. They both like Chinese and Italian food, though Daddy still likes Rice even when he has Italian food. He usually has something meaty whereas Mummy has something Spaghetti-like. His favourite is a special Seafood Risotto, Mummy's is Spaghetti Bolognese. Unfortunately these dishes are from two different restaurants, but that's Mummy and Daddy for you.
After we all had our lunches, we went back home and I fell asleep in the car. It did seem to me that my big sister was back early, and Daddy said that this was because she had been on a whistle-stop tour of lots of different places where people worship God. Or Gods. Or ancestors. I think he must mean like her Dungeons and Dragons playing Lamb worships Azuth. I wonder if she went to an Azuthan Temple?
After all that excitement I really didn't want to go to sleep and kept waking myself up to play with Daddy after my last feed. I managed to get up, do a big stinky weewee so as to require a big bum change, then fight the sleepiness until Mummy got home from hockey practice. It's a great talent of mine, that is.
Today I did really well with my baby rice, and Mummy and Daddy were very pleased. I think they wish taking these luverly solids would help me sleep better, but you can't have everything.
Grandad is very pleased with my insomniac tendencies of course. He says I am his revenge on Daddy for not going to sleep until he was 4 1/2 years old. Daddy says it wasn't his fault, he didn't know better. Grandad says neither do I, so that all works out in the end. Not sure I follow the logic there, but Grandad seems very pleased with it so who am I to argue?
Night night and sleep tight everyone.
I didn't want to go in the car at first, and had a righteous mimp about it. Well all right, to be precise I didn't want to have any clothes on at all and had a righteous mimp about that, and then had a righteous mimp about getting in my coat and the car seat. However Daddy cheered me up from the back seat by pulling silly faces at me and talking to me as usual and my mood soon improved.
When we got to Bournemouth we parked opposite one of Daddy and Amber's favourite places - the great big Ohdeeon. This is a place where you go to watch films on great big giant screens and you dont have to put tapes or DVDs in them first. Daddy and Amber used to go there on a Sunday morning to see lots of films because they did very cheap movie tickets for kiddiewid films. They even had an 'on the way to the cinema' song and everything!
After Daddy reminisced about the Ohdeeon we walked down to a bookshop called Waterstones and bought some books about children who have misplaced their things but take a while to find them, like "That's Not My Dragon" and "That's Not My Rabbit". I guess they must be for my sister as she is always losing things. Maybe there's one called "That's Not My Peebag".
I started to get a bit mimpy in Waterstones as Mummy got to the counter then asked about 10,000 more books. That's what Daddy said, anyway. She said it was only one or two but she was in there an awfully long time so Daddy wheeled me backwards and forwards outside untul she was done.
I was still a bit mimpy when we walked down to get Amber's peebag from the Yellow Bus office near the big Square. I soon got distracted though, as there were lots and lots of things to see. Every year in Bournemouth as December draws near there are lots and lots of new stalls that spring up outside, both in the Square and leading up Commercial Hill. They are all in neat wooden booths that look like mini-cabins, and they sell lots of food and drink and christmassy things for all the people that flood Bournemouth looking for presents at this time of year. People were just starting to put them up when we got there, so if we go back again before Christmas there will be lots and lots of cool food and shiny things to play with, yay Bournemouth!
After going to get the peebag and seeing the stalls being put up, we went inside a shopping mall on Commercial Hill. Mummy went upstairs to the sports shop and Daddy took me into a place called Humv to look at the Metal CDs. Apparently one of his fave bands from when he was young and had hair down to his bottom (still have trouble picturing that) has a new album out and he got all excited, bless him.
However by this point I was getting tired and just like last time everybody seemed far too busy to coo over me, so I started turning heads by conducting our conversation in Yell. Daddy stopped looking through the CDs and talked to me for a minute, and a very miserable looking boy with the floppiest fringe ever bumped into the Tank and gave Daddy a really evil stare, as if it was his fault that he missed seeing a four foot tall ABV (Armoured Baby Vehicle). Daddy politely suggested that if he cut his fringe he might be able to avoid stationary objects, and he stalked off with his lip wobbling.
I think Daddy made him cry. I know I'd cry if I had a haircut that stupid.
We went outside of Humv to wait for Mummy, but she took ages and ages upstairs doing her shopping (again). When she eventually did emerge we went to have our lunch in the Moon! Twas funny, I always imagined it would be more cratery and white, but instead this Moon was full of people having drinkies and nosh.
We found a little table in the corner of the Family Area, and the momentous occasion of my first ever sit down meal occurred. Mummy went to order her and Daddy's food and get some hot water to heat my bottle up, and when she had got it Daddy gave my bottle while Mummy went outside for some potential lung cancer, as Daddy puts it. I really don't think Daddy likes her smoking again, you know.
Well, I can tell you I felt very grown up indeed, having my bottle in a proper restaurant like the grownups do. I am a proper Big Girl now!
Mummy and Daddy both like eating out, as Daddy says that food always tastes better when someone else has cooked it, and Mummy generally adds that with his cooking it's pretty much a certainty. They both like Chinese and Italian food, though Daddy still likes Rice even when he has Italian food. He usually has something meaty whereas Mummy has something Spaghetti-like. His favourite is a special Seafood Risotto, Mummy's is Spaghetti Bolognese. Unfortunately these dishes are from two different restaurants, but that's Mummy and Daddy for you.
After we all had our lunches, we went back home and I fell asleep in the car. It did seem to me that my big sister was back early, and Daddy said that this was because she had been on a whistle-stop tour of lots of different places where people worship God. Or Gods. Or ancestors. I think he must mean like her Dungeons and Dragons playing Lamb worships Azuth. I wonder if she went to an Azuthan Temple?
After all that excitement I really didn't want to go to sleep and kept waking myself up to play with Daddy after my last feed. I managed to get up, do a big stinky weewee so as to require a big bum change, then fight the sleepiness until Mummy got home from hockey practice. It's a great talent of mine, that is.
Today I did really well with my baby rice, and Mummy and Daddy were very pleased. I think they wish taking these luverly solids would help me sleep better, but you can't have everything.
Grandad is very pleased with my insomniac tendencies of course. He says I am his revenge on Daddy for not going to sleep until he was 4 1/2 years old. Daddy says it wasn't his fault, he didn't know better. Grandad says neither do I, so that all works out in the end. Not sure I follow the logic there, but Grandad seems very pleased with it so who am I to argue?
Night night and sleep tight everyone.
Sunday 23 November 2008
Yummy Goodness & Why My Mummy Has To Be A Very Patient Lady
I am finally getting into this weaning thing! Baby rice is true yummyness, I have now decided. What helps is that Mummy got my big sister's old baby walker thingy out of the loft and I can sit up in it and play, and eat my food as well as my toys! So this way there isn't as much messyness (as long as they keep the bowl out of my reach of course) and I have discovered that its actually fun to, you know, eat the food instead of just letting it dribble back out again. Or gag on it.
Now Daddy is feeling better and not doing his celebrated 'man coughing up a lung' impression, I have been catching up on playtime. Whether or not I should be doing inconsequential things like sleeping or feeding is frankly irrelevant. I yelled my displeasure for a solid hour yesterday morning when he dared to try and get me down for the post-first-feed nap I hadn't had earlier. Between you and I, I think he was getting a tad frustrated by the end of it all and Mummy very kindly got up out of bed to come and help him out.
Mummy has been helping Daddy lots while he has been ill, he says she is teh star. She has been doing the washing up sometimes (granted this has been on the grounds that there isn't much point getting it clean if he then coughs all over it, but still) and has managed to make his job easier at least once a day by forgetting to boil the water for my feed when he asks to so he has to give me a carton instead. Isn't that generous?
Some mornings she has also got up to me and let him sleep in, like Friday when we take my big sister straight to the swimming pool instead of her getting the bus to school. Well, all right yes he did get up to make sure Amber was ready for school at half past six, but that's not the point. He got to go back to bed again for a whole two hours when we went off to pick up Frankie and go to the pool, so he was quids in there.
In other news, Jacques the Shark accidentally ended up in the washing machine today. He got a teeny tiny bit squidged and Daddy says he now looks like he's had one too many glasses of champagne instead of his usual suave expression. We're still not quite sure how he got there, I think maybe Mummy was trying to get rid of him because she is getting miffed off with Daddy running him through my bathwater whilst chanting the Jaws theme in a French accent. Every time.
Poor Mummy. I don't know where she gets the patience.
Now Daddy is feeling better and not doing his celebrated 'man coughing up a lung' impression, I have been catching up on playtime. Whether or not I should be doing inconsequential things like sleeping or feeding is frankly irrelevant. I yelled my displeasure for a solid hour yesterday morning when he dared to try and get me down for the post-first-feed nap I hadn't had earlier. Between you and I, I think he was getting a tad frustrated by the end of it all and Mummy very kindly got up out of bed to come and help him out.
Mummy has been helping Daddy lots while he has been ill, he says she is teh star. She has been doing the washing up sometimes (granted this has been on the grounds that there isn't much point getting it clean if he then coughs all over it, but still) and has managed to make his job easier at least once a day by forgetting to boil the water for my feed when he asks to so he has to give me a carton instead. Isn't that generous?
Some mornings she has also got up to me and let him sleep in, like Friday when we take my big sister straight to the swimming pool instead of her getting the bus to school. Well, all right yes he did get up to make sure Amber was ready for school at half past six, but that's not the point. He got to go back to bed again for a whole two hours when we went off to pick up Frankie and go to the pool, so he was quids in there.
In other news, Jacques the Shark accidentally ended up in the washing machine today. He got a teeny tiny bit squidged and Daddy says he now looks like he's had one too many glasses of champagne instead of his usual suave expression. We're still not quite sure how he got there, I think maybe Mummy was trying to get rid of him because she is getting miffed off with Daddy running him through my bathwater whilst chanting the Jaws theme in a French accent. Every time.
Poor Mummy. I don't know where she gets the patience.
A Strong Possibility Of Future Embarassment
Daddy says this is the first item in the 'photos to put off the first boyfriend for life' archive. Oh dear oh dear oh dear.
Thursday 20 November 2008
Shooting Star
As if seeing Santa the other week wasn't cool enough, last night I was having my evening back garden time with Daddy and we saw an actual shooting star! It went very quickly out from behind the tree and looked like it nearly crashed into a house. Though it was fun to see it, I wouldn't even want that to happen to one of those 'hippees' Daddy doesn't like (who must have really done something to annoy him in the past).
The trees were particularly amazing last night. Even though they don't have any leaves on them now its winter, they looked really eerie all lit up by the big light outside the annoying DIY neighbour's patio door.
We couldn't find the moon, though. It was very, very strange. We cast around, looking up at the sky together for ages. We saw lots of stars, but no lovely big round moon. Amber came out and told us some of their names, then predictably Daddy made up some silly ones like 'Uneven Shiny Line' and 'Big Bright One Next To Two Little Ones'.
Anyway, outdoor nocturnal silliness aside, I've got loads to tell you all about but Daddy isn't feeling all that well still so most of it will have to wait until he's feeling well and truly better. He has a husky voice which is annoying because he can't do so many funny voices for me or sing to me much at all, and his nasty choky fits keep waking me up when I'm asleep in my bouncer. This officially Sucks. I think he may be on the sofa again tonight as well, which means I will only have Mummy to wake up every single hour of the night.
The not sleeping thing is part of the weaning, the paediatrician lady said to Daddy when he took me to see her the other day. So I think Mummy and Daddy kind of wish they'd got started on it a bit earlier, but there you go, you can't have everything in life. Soon I may actually achieve the desired state of eating one part baby rice to making fifty parts mess.
Could happen, you never know.
The trees were particularly amazing last night. Even though they don't have any leaves on them now its winter, they looked really eerie all lit up by the big light outside the annoying DIY neighbour's patio door.
We couldn't find the moon, though. It was very, very strange. We cast around, looking up at the sky together for ages. We saw lots of stars, but no lovely big round moon. Amber came out and told us some of their names, then predictably Daddy made up some silly ones like 'Uneven Shiny Line' and 'Big Bright One Next To Two Little Ones'.
Anyway, outdoor nocturnal silliness aside, I've got loads to tell you all about but Daddy isn't feeling all that well still so most of it will have to wait until he's feeling well and truly better. He has a husky voice which is annoying because he can't do so many funny voices for me or sing to me much at all, and his nasty choky fits keep waking me up when I'm asleep in my bouncer. This officially Sucks. I think he may be on the sofa again tonight as well, which means I will only have Mummy to wake up every single hour of the night.
The not sleeping thing is part of the weaning, the paediatrician lady said to Daddy when he took me to see her the other day. So I think Mummy and Daddy kind of wish they'd got started on it a bit earlier, but there you go, you can't have everything in life. Soon I may actually achieve the desired state of eating one part baby rice to making fifty parts mess.
Could happen, you never know.
Tuesday 18 November 2008
Daddy Forecast
Here is the Daddy Forecast, gurgled by weatherbaby Lulu.
Coughing continues strongly, voice is becoming huskier with the possibility of severe loss just in time for the weekend. Headaches due to excessive coughing and fitting 5'10 frame onto 4 foot sofa increasing steadily, general exhaustion levels also on the rise with strong possibility of abatement tomorrow when I visit Dan and Clo-Clo for the day and he spends it sleeping.
Now I shall hand you back to non-weatherbaby Lulu for a general news update.
Thank you, weatherbaby Lulu.
Bong!
Daddy still sicky.
Bong!
Baby hits six months and starts weaning with varying degrees of success.
Bong!
Baby sees Paediatrician in followup appointment, gets cooed over and pronounced healthy and cute but also awkward and insomniac.
Bong!
Daddy pledges detailed update as soon as he's feeling better.
Bong!
Night night and sleep tight everyone.
Coughing continues strongly, voice is becoming huskier with the possibility of severe loss just in time for the weekend. Headaches due to excessive coughing and fitting 5'10 frame onto 4 foot sofa increasing steadily, general exhaustion levels also on the rise with strong possibility of abatement tomorrow when I visit Dan and Clo-Clo for the day and he spends it sleeping.
Now I shall hand you back to non-weatherbaby Lulu for a general news update.
Thank you, weatherbaby Lulu.
Bong!
Daddy still sicky.
Bong!
Baby hits six months and starts weaning with varying degrees of success.
Bong!
Baby sees Paediatrician in followup appointment, gets cooed over and pronounced healthy and cute but also awkward and insomniac.
Bong!
Daddy pledges detailed update as soon as he's feeling better.
Bong!
Night night and sleep tight everyone.
Saturday 15 November 2008
My Sister, Poopyhead
Daddy says my unfortunate big sister won't thank him for posting this, but I thought the way the seagull managed to just perfectly hit her fringe so there was a big blob of birdy goodness hanging down her fringe in front of her eye was just too good not to share.
In other news, Daddy's sickyness has brought his cough up to the point where he will be on the sofa tonight so he doesn't wake me up. Must be preemptive karma for embarassing Amber like this.
In other news, Daddy's sickyness has brought his cough up to the point where he will be on the sofa tonight so he doesn't wake me up. Must be preemptive karma for embarassing Amber like this.
Still Sicky Daddy
Well, it hasn't got much better really. Daddy still isn't quite the ticket, and it's getting on my nerves now. He has started making that revolting burbly noise and trying to pull his nose off with that funny white papery stuff that makes pretty patterns on the floor when I knock the roll off the desk. He is also not playing with me all morning like he's supposed to. After the 5am shift this morning I fell asleep after my bottle and when I woke up I wasn't downstairs in my bouncer with him ready to play in that cute bleary-eyed way he has first thing in the morning, I was in my cot again!
I wasn't having that, so I made my presence felt with some judicious random yelling. But then Mummy got up and took me downstairs instead of Daddy. This isn't right, Daddy should be on call when I want my cuddles and silly music videos and other things.
So I mimped. And mimped. And mimped.
My sister got up out of bed after a while and Mummy tried to see if I would play with her. What was she thinking? I wanted my Daddy!
So I mimped. And mimped. And mimped.
Eventually Mummy gave up and got Daddy out of bed, and now, about ten minutes later, I am contented, and shall fall asleep as soon as I have dictated this in my best happy Gurgle.
And Mummy shall be, perhaps understandably, a little bit miffed off.
I wasn't having that, so I made my presence felt with some judicious random yelling. But then Mummy got up and took me downstairs instead of Daddy. This isn't right, Daddy should be on call when I want my cuddles and silly music videos and other things.
So I mimped. And mimped. And mimped.
My sister got up out of bed after a while and Mummy tried to see if I would play with her. What was she thinking? I wanted my Daddy!
So I mimped. And mimped. And mimped.
Eventually Mummy gave up and got Daddy out of bed, and now, about ten minutes later, I am contented, and shall fall asleep as soon as I have dictated this in my best happy Gurgle.
And Mummy shall be, perhaps understandably, a little bit miffed off.
Thursday 13 November 2008
Sicky Daddy
Apologies to all my avid readers, but Daddy isn't very well at the moment so blogging may be light for a couple of days. He is feeling rough enough that Mummy kindly took pity on him and let him sleep for a whole three hours in the daytime today. Shame I'd got him up from 4am really.
I have been giving him lots of cuddles and smiles to cheer him up though, and we have been dancing together to lots of music videos like this one, which he says is one of his top ten songs of all time even though the Youtube version of the video isn't very good quality, and the band are 'a bunch of hippies really', whatever that means . So presumably this must mean he isn't feeling that dreadful really, so I'm sure normal service will be resumed soon.
Night night and sleep tight everyone.
I have been giving him lots of cuddles and smiles to cheer him up though, and we have been dancing together to lots of music videos like this one, which he says is one of his top ten songs of all time even though the Youtube version of the video isn't very good quality, and the band are 'a bunch of hippies really', whatever that means . So presumably this must mean he isn't feeling that dreadful really, so I'm sure normal service will be resumed soon.
Night night and sleep tight everyone.
I Saw Santa!
I did! Well, alright, my big sister saw him first when I was in the back garden cuddled up to Daddy having my evening constitutional, flying across the sky towards the moon. His big red Santa Suit (which is like my Sleep Suit but bigger and redder and more furry) was winking on and off as the moonlight hit it, and when he flew across the face of the moon I'm sure I could see him waving at me. We get the best moons in our back garden so I could see him really clearly.
Daddy said good girls get lots of presents from Santa. However considering it was 4.30 am last night when he said it after he gave up and brought me downstairs, my hopes aren't high. Damn.
Daddy said good girls get lots of presents from Santa. However considering it was 4.30 am last night when he said it after he gave up and brought me downstairs, my hopes aren't high. Damn.
Monday 10 November 2008
Yorkshire
I have returned from the wilds of Yorkshire. And believe me, when I say wild I really mean it as regards the return trip. It took poor Mummy and I a whole nine hours to get back through wind, and rain, and more wind, and more rain.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's rewind back to Friday morning when Mummy and I set off for Yorkshire.
Daddy got me up bright and early for first feed so Mummy could get moving as quickly as she could and avoid the rush hour in the places we'd have to go through to get to the moteyway. I think she actually managed to only come back in to the house to pick up something she'd forgotten once (instead of the usual three or four), that's how ferociously focussed she was.
The weather was gorgeous on the way, and as we wended our way north, and well clear of nasty poopy London (as Daddy calls it) I was so impressed with all the cool landscapes. There were so many different things to look at - new hills, trees, people. The great outdoors, baby! I love it.
Eventually though it was time for me to have my next feed, and we stopped just before a place called Oxfood which presumably has lots of farms in it. I didn't mind stopping to nosh some milkies, but then once I was finished Mummy had the barefaced cheek to try and get some food of her own from somewhere called Macadees.
I didn't like Macadees. It smelled funny, and being in there was stopping me from enjoying the thrill of the open road, or something. I put up with it as we waited in the queue to be served, I put up with the smelliness, I even put up with waiting to go back into the car. But Mummy actually let go of me with one of her hands when she picked her juice up off the counter, and this was just the last straw. So I decided to use my baby martial arts to deliver a swift kick to the offending article and show my displeasure.
Unfortunately it all went a tad wrong. I'm not too sure how I did it, but I kicked at an angle that sent the juice all over Mummy's face. And my face. And my hair.
Mummy? Not impressed, I can tell you.
So there I was, on the way to Yorkshire to meet my cooing public, and now I smelled of orange juice and baby wipes. So I didn't try any more of the old high kicks again. I'm only in my Pink Babygro after all. When I get my Black one I shall be able to aim them perfectly to only get Mummy with a flood of juice and avoid myself.
I fell asleep after a while, quite a long while in fact. By the time I woke up we were well along the Moteyway. This is a very long road with lots and lots of cars on it, and Mummy gets to drive much faster on it, which she is very pleased about. Also it flashed by so fast that I could barely take in all the sights, but there were lots of other cars that seemed to be barely moving at all next to ours. It was very strange, that. The background (trees, fields etc) seemed to whizz by, but the other cars only seemed to be moving a tiny bit. Weird.
And then, after a whole seven and a half hours (apparently) we reached Yorkshire. Yorkshire is where Granny B lives. It is a house with a nice garden next to lots and lots and lots of hills. Because I was still a bit sticky from all the Macadees orange juice I had a special Yorkshire bath, which means I went in the kitchen sink and made a big splashy mess! It wasn't like at home where I have a special green baby bath, and have lots of towels laid down to stop me soaking the carpet. I thought everyone had baby baths, but obviously they do things differently 'north of Watford', as Daddy calls it. Shortly before receiving a ding from Mummy, usually.
When I went to bed I did not like the feel of my travel cot. It was very different to my supersoft bed at home, plus I was still a bit of a snotbox from my cold. So Mummy gave up and laid me down in my beloved bouncer and I passed out almost straight away. It had been a long day's travelling, after all. Apparently Mummy kept waking up to check on me all night, but I didnt stir on account of all that hard looking about and yelling I'd done.
In the morning we went from Yorskhire to the village, which is called Honley. But inevitably Mummy forgot her car keys and so Granny B pushed me along in my cousin Molly's pram and I fell asleep, as I like to do in the Tank. But when I woke up we were somewhere very odd. A lady was pouring water and stuff on Mummy's head, and there were ladies and men with scissors chopping off other people's hair! It was very disconcerting, but I was OK for a while because there were lots of people cooing over me. Some wore funny uniforms and were the people doing the hairchopping, so I was a bit unsure about them. After all I don't want them going near me with those fierce looking scissors, I've barely got any hair to get cut off in the first place!
Anyway, all went well until someone tried to attack Mummy with a very stubby looking object that I recognised. It made a strange noise and it started to blow poor Mummy's hair all over the place. If I hadn't gone completely howl-at-the-moon mad at this I think it would have charged up and blasted Mummy like some sort of weird raygun. I've seen those dodgy sci-fi movies Daddy likes, I know what a raygun looks like and I'm not having anyone point one at my Mummy!
Once I had saved Mummy from death-by-raygun, we went to see Aunty Jayney and Bob next. I was still very upset from the trauma of nearly seeing Mummy blasted into atoms, so when Jayney wanted to snuggle me I really protested. But she is annoyingly persistent and eventually I gave up and allowed her to cuddle me off to sleep for a little while.
I was supposed to meet one of Bob's grandchildren today, but she had the dreaded Chikunpops. Apparently this is a nasty illness that makes you feel really yucky and then go all spotty. Daddy gets very annoyed about it, because he says some people are really silly and think that children can only get it once whereas they can really get it loads of times as not all kinds of Chikunpops are the same kind. So if they are like like the Poppin Chikun then there must be Barbecue Chikunpops and Spicy Chikunpops and that sort of thing, I suppose. Anyway, some people actually bring their babies to see other children who have the Chikunpops so they can get it when they are tiny, which is about the meanest thing I can think of doing ever!
(Daddy's Note: It really is an Urban Myth of the silliest kind that children can only get chicken pox once. Amber has had it three times, I know of one girl who has had it six times. So don't ever, ever hold a 'chicken pox party' unless you want me to come over and make you eat ten snotty hankies by way of a metaphor for what you are doing to your children.)
It was all go today. No sooner had I woken up from my sleep then off we went again, this time to a special sale at the mill that Grandad B works at. All his friends who also work there and other people there to buy woolly things (no sheep for sale though, I was a bit disappointed about that) endlessly cooed over me, so by this point I was cheering up quite considerably. Then we went back to Jayney's to switch cars and left to go to another special Cooing Party. It was organised by a very nice lady called Granny Walker (who isnt Mummy's Granny but seems to get called that anyway and there were loads of people there to coo over me. I was the centre of attention for ages, it was great! True, there was a grownup called Virginia there who seemed to be getting quite a bit of greetings too (something about her 21st, Granny Walker must have a lot of grandchildren then) but really she got much less attention than me.
After my next bottle and a giant poopoo, Mummy took me out into Granny Walker's back garden to see something I've never seen before up this close - a great big horsey! I've seen some go by pulling carriages when I've been sat in the Tank but I never realised just how big they are before. Mummy wouldnt let me touch the horsey's mouth like I do with her and Daddy though because horseys have great big teeth and big flappy lips and I might get swallowed. Urgh, what a yucky thought, I sort of lost the urge to play 'Lets rip your lips off' after that.
Once everyone had had at least one good coo over me we dropped Granny B home and then went to see Grandad B and Granny She and the doggies.
Their two doggies are called Rubble and Freddie. They are both very bouncy and friendly doggies (not like Syco at all) and I played with them for hours. Rubble ate my little feet and made them all slobbery, and Freddie licked at my hands. I giggled like a maniac, they were so funny! Mummy reckons Milton's shares must have climbed after all the sterile wipes she got through, whatever that means.
I even got to pull Freddie's ears, bonus! Then I sat with Granny She and watched Mummy fight Rubble for the doggies new 'unbreakable' chew toy, which seems to be able to make a grown woman sprawl about on the floor playing tug-of-war with a doggie. What a versatile toy it must be. I watched Mummy rolling about and laughed like a drain the entire time.
Next I got to open a present!. It was a snazzy new coat, and I liked it so much that I tried it on straight away and then wore it outside to step into Grandad B's back garden and watch the fireworks go off nearby. I love fireworks - they go bang and pop and fizz and make pretty colours in the sky. Luckily the noise doesn't bother me at all, because I know that the bangs mean there are more pretties on the way.
As the fireworks finished, Grandad B's friends Diane and Robert came and cooed over me, but I was so tired out from all the excitement of the day that I went to sleep when i really shouldn't have done. I was rudely woken by Mummy to go back to Granny B's house to have my last feed of the day. Unfortunately for Mummy because I'd has my Powernap I was still very awake after the last bottle and I didn't want to go to sleep yet, after all this was about as exciting as the busiest day ever! Even after she finally got me down I still woke up at 3am. And 4am. And 5am. And 6am.
I think there was a pattern emerging at this point. Mummy took the hint and got out of bed to give me my first feed shortly afterwards. But joy! My cousin Molly was waiting downstairs for me when I got there, having her breakfast with Granny B. She is a bit bigger than me, she isn't quite big enough to be walking yet but she does crawl a lot. I think Granny B was having trouble catching her so she could give me all the morning smiles I was due.
After I played with Molly for a while Mummy packed all our goodies in the car and we left Yorkshire to see my namesake, Auntie Lucy. She is one of my two Godmothers and she lives with her fiance John in a big building with lots of floors and a really funny glass lift thingy. She is also a gaming and fantasy geek like Daddy, yay! Or not depending on your point of view.
Aunty Lucy also has a nice slidey wooden floor that I got to go dry swimming on. Dry swimming is what happens when a baby knows how to do all the motions to start crawling but hasn't quite figured out how to do them at the same time yet. I'm getting really good at it.
I also got another present from John and Lucy - a Tigger suit! Lucy took some photys of it next to me, but I didn't like it when John loomed over me to take some of the two Lucy's. He is very tall and a bit scary, so I kind of mimped until he took the hint and backed off.
After lunch we said goodbye to Aunty Lucy and John and Mummy said we were leaving Yorkshire and going home, which didn't make much sense because we left Yorkshire and said goodbye to Granny B earlier on. However we were soon on the way as Aunty Lucy lives very near to the Moteyway and that's the speediest way to travel, baby!
At least it is when the wind doesn't roar and the rain doesn't fall down in sheets. You see after we stopped for my next feed, I did a huge weewee shortly afterwards so Mummy had to stop at the next services to change me. And then a few minutes after we got going again I detonated a Size Six in my nappy, just to shake the journey up a bit. Well I wanted the fresh air, didn't I. It's not my fault Mummy wouldn't take the hint.
After all the delays for bum changing we were running later than intended so we were still on the Moteyway when night fell and the rain really hit hard. I didn't like this at all, as now I couldn't see much of anything and Mummy had to slow down as well, so I screamed for 50 miles straight to make sure my displeasure was fully understood.
However we took a big break just before that Oxfood place again and a funny thing happened. Suddenly Mummy's friend Sam and two of her friends were there, and I got some serious cooing. Now that made me feel much better, I'd gone without a good coo for hours. As Sam lives near us, from then on Mummy followed her car down the roads so she had a good target to aim at. It all turned into a bit of a blur for me afterwards, I think I fell asleep at least once before finally, after nine hours of gruelling travel, we arrived home at Chez Lulu.
When we got there Daddy wasn't very well. It seems he felt very ill in the car coming back from Indiecon and had been laid down for a couple of hours before we got home. So there was poor exhausted Mummy coming indoors and wanting to hand me over to Daddy, and Daddy thinking he was going to throw up any minute when I got all excited and started kicking at his tummy while he gave me a welcome home cuddle.
I decided to make them feel better by not going to sleep for ages, as I figured they could use the company to cheer them up. Oddly enough they didn't seem to appreciate the gesture all that much, the ungrateful pair.
So that was my trip to Yorkshire. I enjoyed it very much up until the darkness and the rain fell on the way home, and I'm sure I'll have forgotten about that part soon. And so will Mummy once her ears have stopped bleeding from all the screaming.
Night night and sleep tight everyone.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's rewind back to Friday morning when Mummy and I set off for Yorkshire.
Daddy got me up bright and early for first feed so Mummy could get moving as quickly as she could and avoid the rush hour in the places we'd have to go through to get to the moteyway. I think she actually managed to only come back in to the house to pick up something she'd forgotten once (instead of the usual three or four), that's how ferociously focussed she was.
The weather was gorgeous on the way, and as we wended our way north, and well clear of nasty poopy London (as Daddy calls it) I was so impressed with all the cool landscapes. There were so many different things to look at - new hills, trees, people. The great outdoors, baby! I love it.
Eventually though it was time for me to have my next feed, and we stopped just before a place called Oxfood which presumably has lots of farms in it. I didn't mind stopping to nosh some milkies, but then once I was finished Mummy had the barefaced cheek to try and get some food of her own from somewhere called Macadees.
I didn't like Macadees. It smelled funny, and being in there was stopping me from enjoying the thrill of the open road, or something. I put up with it as we waited in the queue to be served, I put up with the smelliness, I even put up with waiting to go back into the car. But Mummy actually let go of me with one of her hands when she picked her juice up off the counter, and this was just the last straw. So I decided to use my baby martial arts to deliver a swift kick to the offending article and show my displeasure.
Unfortunately it all went a tad wrong. I'm not too sure how I did it, but I kicked at an angle that sent the juice all over Mummy's face. And my face. And my hair.
Mummy? Not impressed, I can tell you.
So there I was, on the way to Yorkshire to meet my cooing public, and now I smelled of orange juice and baby wipes. So I didn't try any more of the old high kicks again. I'm only in my Pink Babygro after all. When I get my Black one I shall be able to aim them perfectly to only get Mummy with a flood of juice and avoid myself.
I fell asleep after a while, quite a long while in fact. By the time I woke up we were well along the Moteyway. This is a very long road with lots and lots of cars on it, and Mummy gets to drive much faster on it, which she is very pleased about. Also it flashed by so fast that I could barely take in all the sights, but there were lots of other cars that seemed to be barely moving at all next to ours. It was very strange, that. The background (trees, fields etc) seemed to whizz by, but the other cars only seemed to be moving a tiny bit. Weird.
And then, after a whole seven and a half hours (apparently) we reached Yorkshire. Yorkshire is where Granny B lives. It is a house with a nice garden next to lots and lots and lots of hills. Because I was still a bit sticky from all the Macadees orange juice I had a special Yorkshire bath, which means I went in the kitchen sink and made a big splashy mess! It wasn't like at home where I have a special green baby bath, and have lots of towels laid down to stop me soaking the carpet. I thought everyone had baby baths, but obviously they do things differently 'north of Watford', as Daddy calls it. Shortly before receiving a ding from Mummy, usually.
When I went to bed I did not like the feel of my travel cot. It was very different to my supersoft bed at home, plus I was still a bit of a snotbox from my cold. So Mummy gave up and laid me down in my beloved bouncer and I passed out almost straight away. It had been a long day's travelling, after all. Apparently Mummy kept waking up to check on me all night, but I didnt stir on account of all that hard looking about and yelling I'd done.
In the morning we went from Yorskhire to the village, which is called Honley. But inevitably Mummy forgot her car keys and so Granny B pushed me along in my cousin Molly's pram and I fell asleep, as I like to do in the Tank. But when I woke up we were somewhere very odd. A lady was pouring water and stuff on Mummy's head, and there were ladies and men with scissors chopping off other people's hair! It was very disconcerting, but I was OK for a while because there were lots of people cooing over me. Some wore funny uniforms and were the people doing the hairchopping, so I was a bit unsure about them. After all I don't want them going near me with those fierce looking scissors, I've barely got any hair to get cut off in the first place!
Anyway, all went well until someone tried to attack Mummy with a very stubby looking object that I recognised. It made a strange noise and it started to blow poor Mummy's hair all over the place. If I hadn't gone completely howl-at-the-moon mad at this I think it would have charged up and blasted Mummy like some sort of weird raygun. I've seen those dodgy sci-fi movies Daddy likes, I know what a raygun looks like and I'm not having anyone point one at my Mummy!
Once I had saved Mummy from death-by-raygun, we went to see Aunty Jayney and Bob next. I was still very upset from the trauma of nearly seeing Mummy blasted into atoms, so when Jayney wanted to snuggle me I really protested. But she is annoyingly persistent and eventually I gave up and allowed her to cuddle me off to sleep for a little while.
I was supposed to meet one of Bob's grandchildren today, but she had the dreaded Chikunpops. Apparently this is a nasty illness that makes you feel really yucky and then go all spotty. Daddy gets very annoyed about it, because he says some people are really silly and think that children can only get it once whereas they can really get it loads of times as not all kinds of Chikunpops are the same kind. So if they are like like the Poppin Chikun then there must be Barbecue Chikunpops and Spicy Chikunpops and that sort of thing, I suppose. Anyway, some people actually bring their babies to see other children who have the Chikunpops so they can get it when they are tiny, which is about the meanest thing I can think of doing ever!
(Daddy's Note: It really is an Urban Myth of the silliest kind that children can only get chicken pox once. Amber has had it three times, I know of one girl who has had it six times. So don't ever, ever hold a 'chicken pox party' unless you want me to come over and make you eat ten snotty hankies by way of a metaphor for what you are doing to your children.)
It was all go today. No sooner had I woken up from my sleep then off we went again, this time to a special sale at the mill that Grandad B works at. All his friends who also work there and other people there to buy woolly things (no sheep for sale though, I was a bit disappointed about that) endlessly cooed over me, so by this point I was cheering up quite considerably. Then we went back to Jayney's to switch cars and left to go to another special Cooing Party. It was organised by a very nice lady called Granny Walker (who isnt Mummy's Granny but seems to get called that anyway and there were loads of people there to coo over me. I was the centre of attention for ages, it was great! True, there was a grownup called Virginia there who seemed to be getting quite a bit of greetings too (something about her 21st, Granny Walker must have a lot of grandchildren then) but really she got much less attention than me.
After my next bottle and a giant poopoo, Mummy took me out into Granny Walker's back garden to see something I've never seen before up this close - a great big horsey! I've seen some go by pulling carriages when I've been sat in the Tank but I never realised just how big they are before. Mummy wouldnt let me touch the horsey's mouth like I do with her and Daddy though because horseys have great big teeth and big flappy lips and I might get swallowed. Urgh, what a yucky thought, I sort of lost the urge to play 'Lets rip your lips off' after that.
Once everyone had had at least one good coo over me we dropped Granny B home and then went to see Grandad B and Granny She and the doggies.
Their two doggies are called Rubble and Freddie. They are both very bouncy and friendly doggies (not like Syco at all) and I played with them for hours. Rubble ate my little feet and made them all slobbery, and Freddie licked at my hands. I giggled like a maniac, they were so funny! Mummy reckons Milton's shares must have climbed after all the sterile wipes she got through, whatever that means.
I even got to pull Freddie's ears, bonus! Then I sat with Granny She and watched Mummy fight Rubble for the doggies new 'unbreakable' chew toy, which seems to be able to make a grown woman sprawl about on the floor playing tug-of-war with a doggie. What a versatile toy it must be. I watched Mummy rolling about and laughed like a drain the entire time.
Next I got to open a present!. It was a snazzy new coat, and I liked it so much that I tried it on straight away and then wore it outside to step into Grandad B's back garden and watch the fireworks go off nearby. I love fireworks - they go bang and pop and fizz and make pretty colours in the sky. Luckily the noise doesn't bother me at all, because I know that the bangs mean there are more pretties on the way.
As the fireworks finished, Grandad B's friends Diane and Robert came and cooed over me, but I was so tired out from all the excitement of the day that I went to sleep when i really shouldn't have done. I was rudely woken by Mummy to go back to Granny B's house to have my last feed of the day. Unfortunately for Mummy because I'd has my Powernap I was still very awake after the last bottle and I didn't want to go to sleep yet, after all this was about as exciting as the busiest day ever! Even after she finally got me down I still woke up at 3am. And 4am. And 5am. And 6am.
I think there was a pattern emerging at this point. Mummy took the hint and got out of bed to give me my first feed shortly afterwards. But joy! My cousin Molly was waiting downstairs for me when I got there, having her breakfast with Granny B. She is a bit bigger than me, she isn't quite big enough to be walking yet but she does crawl a lot. I think Granny B was having trouble catching her so she could give me all the morning smiles I was due.
After I played with Molly for a while Mummy packed all our goodies in the car and we left Yorkshire to see my namesake, Auntie Lucy. She is one of my two Godmothers and she lives with her fiance John in a big building with lots of floors and a really funny glass lift thingy. She is also a gaming and fantasy geek like Daddy, yay! Or not depending on your point of view.
Aunty Lucy also has a nice slidey wooden floor that I got to go dry swimming on. Dry swimming is what happens when a baby knows how to do all the motions to start crawling but hasn't quite figured out how to do them at the same time yet. I'm getting really good at it.
I also got another present from John and Lucy - a Tigger suit! Lucy took some photys of it next to me, but I didn't like it when John loomed over me to take some of the two Lucy's. He is very tall and a bit scary, so I kind of mimped until he took the hint and backed off.
After lunch we said goodbye to Aunty Lucy and John and Mummy said we were leaving Yorkshire and going home, which didn't make much sense because we left Yorkshire and said goodbye to Granny B earlier on. However we were soon on the way as Aunty Lucy lives very near to the Moteyway and that's the speediest way to travel, baby!
At least it is when the wind doesn't roar and the rain doesn't fall down in sheets. You see after we stopped for my next feed, I did a huge weewee shortly afterwards so Mummy had to stop at the next services to change me. And then a few minutes after we got going again I detonated a Size Six in my nappy, just to shake the journey up a bit. Well I wanted the fresh air, didn't I. It's not my fault Mummy wouldn't take the hint.
After all the delays for bum changing we were running later than intended so we were still on the Moteyway when night fell and the rain really hit hard. I didn't like this at all, as now I couldn't see much of anything and Mummy had to slow down as well, so I screamed for 50 miles straight to make sure my displeasure was fully understood.
However we took a big break just before that Oxfood place again and a funny thing happened. Suddenly Mummy's friend Sam and two of her friends were there, and I got some serious cooing. Now that made me feel much better, I'd gone without a good coo for hours. As Sam lives near us, from then on Mummy followed her car down the roads so she had a good target to aim at. It all turned into a bit of a blur for me afterwards, I think I fell asleep at least once before finally, after nine hours of gruelling travel, we arrived home at Chez Lulu.
When we got there Daddy wasn't very well. It seems he felt very ill in the car coming back from Indiecon and had been laid down for a couple of hours before we got home. So there was poor exhausted Mummy coming indoors and wanting to hand me over to Daddy, and Daddy thinking he was going to throw up any minute when I got all excited and started kicking at his tummy while he gave me a welcome home cuddle.
I decided to make them feel better by not going to sleep for ages, as I figured they could use the company to cheer them up. Oddly enough they didn't seem to appreciate the gesture all that much, the ungrateful pair.
So that was my trip to Yorkshire. I enjoyed it very much up until the darkness and the rain fell on the way home, and I'm sure I'll have forgotten about that part soon. And so will Mummy once her ears have stopped bleeding from all the screaming.
Night night and sleep tight everyone.
Thursday 6 November 2008
No Matter What Daddy Says...
...I don't see the problem with weeing everywhere just as he has finished drying me after bathtime (so he had to change his trousers, at least it wasn't a poopoo). After all, Mummy always says when a girl's got to go, a girl's got to go...
Space Baby
My sister has taught me how to play Space Baby in my bouncer. We wave my arms and blast off into space, and then we pilot our bouncy spaceship to all kinds of exotic planets. We visited Planet Baby and bought a dummy, then went to Planet Chunder and bought a Whoozit. Then we went to Planet Lucyhome and bought a Tinklebunny! It cost me five Dribbles.
Mummy calls Tinklebunny (who makes a pleasant tinkly noise when I shake him) Jinglebunny and gives Daddy very black looks when he doesn't go along with her.
I love playing with my big sister. I will miss her when I am in Yorkshire this weekend. I won't even be able to tell Daddy much to post on here every day either, but he says Mummy will ring him at least once every hour so she can fill him in.
I slept for ages last night and Daddy actually got something almost resembling a proper night's kip (though my poor sicky Mummy is still coughing and was stuck on the sofa again) after trying a late bedtime to knock me out. I almost managed a Powernap at 8.30 when Daddy took me out the Back Garden to watch the fireworks but he spotted that I was falling asleep and managed to wake me up, curses! He is trying it again tonight to see if I will still stay crashed out and only wake up three or four times like last night.
It's going to be bathtime soon, and I shall splash and splash and splash and splash. It's what I do. I splash, therefore I am, Daddy says. It's as good a philosophy to live by as any I suppose.
Night night and sleep tight everyone.
Mummy calls Tinklebunny (who makes a pleasant tinkly noise when I shake him) Jinglebunny and gives Daddy very black looks when he doesn't go along with her.
I love playing with my big sister. I will miss her when I am in Yorkshire this weekend. I won't even be able to tell Daddy much to post on here every day either, but he says Mummy will ring him at least once every hour so she can fill him in.
I slept for ages last night and Daddy actually got something almost resembling a proper night's kip (though my poor sicky Mummy is still coughing and was stuck on the sofa again) after trying a late bedtime to knock me out. I almost managed a Powernap at 8.30 when Daddy took me out the Back Garden to watch the fireworks but he spotted that I was falling asleep and managed to wake me up, curses! He is trying it again tonight to see if I will still stay crashed out and only wake up three or four times like last night.
It's going to be bathtime soon, and I shall splash and splash and splash and splash. It's what I do. I splash, therefore I am, Daddy says. It's as good a philosophy to live by as any I suppose.
Night night and sleep tight everyone.
Tuesday 4 November 2008
But Daddy, Mummy Isn't Blonde
I don't get it. Why does Daddy keep saying Mummy is having a blonde week? I mean it's not like her hair hasn't gone through a lot of different incarnations since they met - at first it was bright pillarbox red, then red, then black, then black with a red streak, then back in black again, then browner, then her natural brown and even ended up green for Conception when I was in her tummy, like I explained yesterday.
But it's never been blonde.
Sure, she is having a few odd moments. Offering Aunty Chelle a lift home from work when she visited her at Comet and then going straight home and leaving her there, that was a doozy. Going out of the door calling annoyedly that she needed to get going and whatever Daddy was telling her would have to wait whilst he was trying to tell her that she had left her car keys behind, that was another good one. And there have been any number of superficial injuries from banging into things. Also managing to change the central heating settings to turn off the heat by banging the kettle spout into the switch so Daddy and I were somewhat cold this morning, that was a good one.
Bless her, she isn't having a good time.
But she's not blonde, Daddy. I can't imagine where you got that one from.
But it's never been blonde.
Sure, she is having a few odd moments. Offering Aunty Chelle a lift home from work when she visited her at Comet and then going straight home and leaving her there, that was a doozy. Going out of the door calling annoyedly that she needed to get going and whatever Daddy was telling her would have to wait whilst he was trying to tell her that she had left her car keys behind, that was another good one. And there have been any number of superficial injuries from banging into things. Also managing to change the central heating settings to turn off the heat by banging the kettle spout into the switch so Daddy and I were somewhat cold this morning, that was a good one.
Bless her, she isn't having a good time.
But she's not blonde, Daddy. I can't imagine where you got that one from.
Monday 3 November 2008
The End Of An Era (Well, Halfterm Anyway)
Yes, I have Officially caught Mummy's cough. This Officially Sucks, and means it's going to be another very long night for my dear parents. They are starting to look a bit ragged around the edges now. Daddy is even drinking Coca Cola for the caffeine content seeing as he doesn't normally touch coffee with a ten-foot pole.
My big sister goes back to school tomorrow. This also sucks. She has played with me lots and lots this halfterm, and changed more of my nappies than Mummy did today! She is teh Star.
I wouldn't go off to sleep this afternoon, so Daddy sung me that weird lullaby he likes. I don't know what the words all mean but it's very soothing and often calms me down and helps me get my Powernaps. Mummy frowns if she's there, because apparently she doesn't think all the words are 'entirely appropriate' but Daddy takes the pragmatic, if somewhat suicidal attitude that 'it calms her down so bog off'.
We all went down to Mudeford Quay today and fed the ducks, swans, cygnets, seagulls, weird looking big seagulls with grey hook beaks, moorhens and other feathery creatures. The seagulls really swarmed and whenever one managed to grab a piece of bread from the air and fly off with a pack of his friends in pursuit Daddy amused us by doing a racing commentary to accompany the action.
At one point Mummy thumped Amber upside of the head with a loaf of bread when she kept dangling slices over Mummy's head and seeing if the seagulls would do their business on her. The bag split and slices of bread flew everywhere. Daddy laughed so hard I jiggled up and down so fast I could barely focus on all my seagull friends, though he says this is Setting A Bad Example. I don't know why, I think it's all very funny just like he does and that can't be bad.
All in all despite the coughyness it's been a good halfterm with my big sister, all things considered. And I'm off to Yorkshire with Mummy this weekend to be cooed over by all the Mummyrellies while Daddy and my big sister go to Indiecon, which Daddy won a free pass for by answering lots of questions in a quiz. Yay for Daddy and his geeky knowledge of roleplaying games!
Night night and sleep tight everyone.
My big sister goes back to school tomorrow. This also sucks. She has played with me lots and lots this halfterm, and changed more of my nappies than Mummy did today! She is teh Star.
I wouldn't go off to sleep this afternoon, so Daddy sung me that weird lullaby he likes. I don't know what the words all mean but it's very soothing and often calms me down and helps me get my Powernaps. Mummy frowns if she's there, because apparently she doesn't think all the words are 'entirely appropriate' but Daddy takes the pragmatic, if somewhat suicidal attitude that 'it calms her down so bog off'.
We all went down to Mudeford Quay today and fed the ducks, swans, cygnets, seagulls, weird looking big seagulls with grey hook beaks, moorhens and other feathery creatures. The seagulls really swarmed and whenever one managed to grab a piece of bread from the air and fly off with a pack of his friends in pursuit Daddy amused us by doing a racing commentary to accompany the action.
At one point Mummy thumped Amber upside of the head with a loaf of bread when she kept dangling slices over Mummy's head and seeing if the seagulls would do their business on her. The bag split and slices of bread flew everywhere. Daddy laughed so hard I jiggled up and down so fast I could barely focus on all my seagull friends, though he says this is Setting A Bad Example. I don't know why, I think it's all very funny just like he does and that can't be bad.
All in all despite the coughyness it's been a good halfterm with my big sister, all things considered. And I'm off to Yorkshire with Mummy this weekend to be cooed over by all the Mummyrellies while Daddy and my big sister go to Indiecon, which Daddy won a free pass for by answering lots of questions in a quiz. Yay for Daddy and his geeky knowledge of roleplaying games!
Night night and sleep tight everyone.
Sunday 2 November 2008
The Coughing Cavalier And The Fairy Dressmaker
Mummy isn't very well. She has a nasty cough and is all snuffly. Because of this she hasn't slept in the bedroom for two nights. It's miffed me right off because Daddy just isn't as good at popping my dummy back in and patting me back off to sleep when I howl at the moon. Plus of course with Mummy not there, there isn't anyone to poke him in the ribs and stop his snoring. Terrible it is, like a warthog being dragged through a threshing machine.
On Friday afternoon Daddy and Amber took me to Granny and Grandad's along the beach in the Tank. I was already in a crabby mood however, after Daddy did a great big sneeze before we got in the car down to Mudeford Quay and made me jump. And Yell. A lot. So I was already feeling seriously snippy and eventually Daddy had to take me out of the Tank and carry me for half a mile or so until we reached the part where we have nowhere else we can go but the Beach.
Well, I wasn't best pleased to get put back in for that part, no sir. I howled, but Daddy was his usual awkward self and strapped me in anyway. This might be because he knows me very well, and knows that after about one flat minute of jouncing and bouncing on the sandy beach, I'll go to sleep for sure. And I did, too.
When I woke back up later on after Daddy had managed to maneouvre the Tank over the sand, he seemed to be a lot redder than before. Funny that. Still, he says it helped keep him warm after shaving his head about 15 minutes before we set out. Maybe that was why I saw his scalp turning blue.
We didn't stay at Granny's too long after Daddy and Amber had their lunch there, with me naturally sat on Daddy's knee and making all possible effort to either a) pull the mat and everything on it off the table or at the very least b) give Daddy indigestion. Ah well, at least one out of two isn't bad.
On Friday night it was Halloween, but as Daddy was out Gaming with Uncle Julian and Amber was at Granny's, there was no trick or treating going on. Besides, Daddy used to take Halloween quite...seriously, and he thinks that only new people knock on the door now on account of the things he has done to trick or treaters in previous years. My big sister says that not many people dare to pick marshmallows off the point of a bloodstained kitchen knife and so they go where the pickings are a bit less fraught with nappy-wetting terror.
The first year Mummy moved down from Yorkshire, when trick or treaters knocked on the door Mummy would open it and run away screaming in fake terror while Daddy chased her with the kitchen knife and then dragged her back inside, still screaming. Anyone who knocked on the door a second time would get sweeties.
I do wonder about my Daddy sometimes.
Anyway, despite Mummy putting a big sign on the door asking people not to knock on the door after my bedtime, a very silly boy who was more than big enough to read the sign still did, and he really banged on it too. It made me stir, and Mummy was very annoyed. But as I subsided again, he banged on the door again even harder than the first time, and she opened it and said some mean but justifiable things to him and his mummy who was standing across the road. Something about having him spend a bit more time in school and learning to read instead of trick or treating I think it was. Daddy thought it was harsh, but also fair.
Yesterday Mummy managed to fight through the unbearable ickyness of being and went to play her first hockey match with her new team. She said she felt much less ill running around in a wet field than she did when she came back home. Daddy said she must be allergic to my sister, which earned him a ding from both of them. I really do wonder about my Daddy sometimes.
Last night's bathtime was great fun too. I managed some serious legkicking and got water over my sister, which was good stuff. But then Daddy had a bit of a moment with the talc and it kind of exploded out of the container in his face as Mummy had mixed them up and this one doesn't have solid sides. And judging by the amount of talc on his trousers, T-Shirt and face he must normally squeeze the solid one quite hard when he opens it up.
Really am wondering about Daddy now.
It got better though. I must have managed to loosen the plastic plug thingy on the bath just as Daddy lifted me out to dry me. So it was juuuuuuuust ready to pop out of place as poor Daddy lifted it off the floor.
I shall draw a polite veil over the proceedings in the next few moments. Let's just say I don't think I ever want to know what some of those grownup words mean.
Later on Mummy went off to a Halloween Party (just for an hour due to her ickyness) at her friend Sam's. She wore her short skull dress and her cool Vampire cloak that Aunty Fi made her. Who's Aunty Fi?
This is Aunty Fi. She is the bestest dressmaker ever. She made Mummy's wedding dress and makes all her own costumes for those LARP thingies Daddy likes to do, as well as other people's.
This is Mummy's Vampire Cloak that Aunty Fi made. Isn't it cool?
After she passed her driving test the first long trip Aunty Fi took was to come down here to sunny Christchurch to see me. She is one of the best cooers ever. Mummy and Daddy say they are very lucky that she is their friend. Apparently when they first met Daddy was a Dwarf and Aunty Fi was a fairy who had lost her kingdom in a game of Poker.
Still worrying quite a lot about Daddy actually.
It was at this Conception thingy that Mummy and Daddy met at. That's me in the picture that flashes up near the top of the screen on the website, by the way. Only you can't see me because I'm in Mummy's tummy still.
Well I'd better go off for my last feed now. I think poor Daddy is experiencing typing fatigue as I've been demanding enough that it's taken him most of the day to write this post. Bless.
Night night and sleep tight everyone.
On Friday afternoon Daddy and Amber took me to Granny and Grandad's along the beach in the Tank. I was already in a crabby mood however, after Daddy did a great big sneeze before we got in the car down to Mudeford Quay and made me jump. And Yell. A lot. So I was already feeling seriously snippy and eventually Daddy had to take me out of the Tank and carry me for half a mile or so until we reached the part where we have nowhere else we can go but the Beach.
Well, I wasn't best pleased to get put back in for that part, no sir. I howled, but Daddy was his usual awkward self and strapped me in anyway. This might be because he knows me very well, and knows that after about one flat minute of jouncing and bouncing on the sandy beach, I'll go to sleep for sure. And I did, too.
When I woke back up later on after Daddy had managed to maneouvre the Tank over the sand, he seemed to be a lot redder than before. Funny that. Still, he says it helped keep him warm after shaving his head about 15 minutes before we set out. Maybe that was why I saw his scalp turning blue.
We didn't stay at Granny's too long after Daddy and Amber had their lunch there, with me naturally sat on Daddy's knee and making all possible effort to either a) pull the mat and everything on it off the table or at the very least b) give Daddy indigestion. Ah well, at least one out of two isn't bad.
On Friday night it was Halloween, but as Daddy was out Gaming with Uncle Julian and Amber was at Granny's, there was no trick or treating going on. Besides, Daddy used to take Halloween quite...seriously, and he thinks that only new people knock on the door now on account of the things he has done to trick or treaters in previous years. My big sister says that not many people dare to pick marshmallows off the point of a bloodstained kitchen knife and so they go where the pickings are a bit less fraught with nappy-wetting terror.
The first year Mummy moved down from Yorkshire, when trick or treaters knocked on the door Mummy would open it and run away screaming in fake terror while Daddy chased her with the kitchen knife and then dragged her back inside, still screaming. Anyone who knocked on the door a second time would get sweeties.
I do wonder about my Daddy sometimes.
Anyway, despite Mummy putting a big sign on the door asking people not to knock on the door after my bedtime, a very silly boy who was more than big enough to read the sign still did, and he really banged on it too. It made me stir, and Mummy was very annoyed. But as I subsided again, he banged on the door again even harder than the first time, and she opened it and said some mean but justifiable things to him and his mummy who was standing across the road. Something about having him spend a bit more time in school and learning to read instead of trick or treating I think it was. Daddy thought it was harsh, but also fair.
Yesterday Mummy managed to fight through the unbearable ickyness of being and went to play her first hockey match with her new team. She said she felt much less ill running around in a wet field than she did when she came back home. Daddy said she must be allergic to my sister, which earned him a ding from both of them. I really do wonder about my Daddy sometimes.
Last night's bathtime was great fun too. I managed some serious legkicking and got water over my sister, which was good stuff. But then Daddy had a bit of a moment with the talc and it kind of exploded out of the container in his face as Mummy had mixed them up and this one doesn't have solid sides. And judging by the amount of talc on his trousers, T-Shirt and face he must normally squeeze the solid one quite hard when he opens it up.
Really am wondering about Daddy now.
It got better though. I must have managed to loosen the plastic plug thingy on the bath just as Daddy lifted me out to dry me. So it was juuuuuuuust ready to pop out of place as poor Daddy lifted it off the floor.
I shall draw a polite veil over the proceedings in the next few moments. Let's just say I don't think I ever want to know what some of those grownup words mean.
Later on Mummy went off to a Halloween Party (just for an hour due to her ickyness) at her friend Sam's. She wore her short skull dress and her cool Vampire cloak that Aunty Fi made her. Who's Aunty Fi?
This is Aunty Fi. She is the bestest dressmaker ever. She made Mummy's wedding dress and makes all her own costumes for those LARP thingies Daddy likes to do, as well as other people's.
This is Mummy's Vampire Cloak that Aunty Fi made. Isn't it cool?
After she passed her driving test the first long trip Aunty Fi took was to come down here to sunny Christchurch to see me. She is one of the best cooers ever. Mummy and Daddy say they are very lucky that she is their friend. Apparently when they first met Daddy was a Dwarf and Aunty Fi was a fairy who had lost her kingdom in a game of Poker.
Still worrying quite a lot about Daddy actually.
It was at this Conception thingy that Mummy and Daddy met at. That's me in the picture that flashes up near the top of the screen on the website, by the way. Only you can't see me because I'm in Mummy's tummy still.
Well I'd better go off for my last feed now. I think poor Daddy is experiencing typing fatigue as I've been demanding enough that it's taken him most of the day to write this post. Bless.
Night night and sleep tight everyone.
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