The End Of An Era (Well, Halfterm Anyway)

Yes, I have Officially caught Mummy's cough. This Officially Sucks, and means it's going to be another very long night for my dear parents. They are starting to look a bit ragged around the edges now. Daddy is even drinking Coca Cola for the caffeine content seeing as he doesn't normally touch coffee with a ten-foot pole.

My big sister goes back to school tomorrow. This also sucks. She has played with me lots and lots this halfterm, and changed more of my nappies than Mummy did today! She is teh Star.

I wouldn't go off to sleep this afternoon, so Daddy sung me that weird lullaby he likes. I don't know what the words all mean but it's very soothing and often calms me down and helps me get my Powernaps. Mummy frowns if she's there, because apparently she doesn't think all the words are 'entirely appropriate' but Daddy takes the pragmatic, if somewhat suicidal attitude that 'it calms her down so bog off'.

We all went down to Mudeford Quay today and fed the ducks, swans, cygnets, seagulls, weird looking big seagulls with grey hook beaks, moorhens and other feathery creatures. The seagulls really swarmed and whenever one managed to grab a piece of bread from the air and fly off with a pack of his friends in pursuit Daddy amused us by doing a racing commentary to accompany the action.

At one point Mummy thumped Amber upside of the head with a loaf of bread when she kept dangling slices over Mummy's head and seeing if the seagulls would do their business on her. The bag split and slices of bread flew everywhere. Daddy laughed so hard I jiggled up and down so fast I could barely focus on all my seagull friends, though he says this is Setting A Bad Example. I don't know why, I think it's all very funny just like he does and that can't be bad.

All in all despite the coughyness it's been a good halfterm with my big sister, all things considered. And I'm off to Yorkshire with Mummy this weekend to be cooed over by all the Mummyrellies while Daddy and my big sister go to Indiecon, which Daddy won a free pass for by answering lots of questions in a quiz. Yay for Daddy and his geeky knowledge of roleplaying games!

Night night and sleep tight everyone.

Violence, Mayhem, Ducks

Utter chaos ensued at Mudeford Quay tonight. First Daddy was trying to get revenge on Amber for trying to annoy him by talking through his headphones at him in the car, and he let the car door swing back when she had her hands full of bread so she'd have to put the bread down to open it again. But she didn't notice.

Ding!

Then whilst nursing her sore head, she tripped up coming out of the car and the loaf she was holding swung out and hit Daddy right between the legs.

Ding!

Then when we got the harbour, Amber wouldn't stop singing the really annoying bit from 'The Lion Sleeps Tonight' so Mummy advanced on her and swung a loaf at her - but she tried to avoid it, tripped over and went backwards onto the floor.

Ding!

But it wasn't over, because Mummy was laughing so hard by now that she wasn't paying very much attention to where she was throwing, and she hit a duck in the beak with a slice of bread.

Ding!

I consider myself rather lucky to have escaped the carnage. Specially as Daddy kind of owed me one for managing to get poo all over him earlier when I had an escaped detonation and I kicked my little poopy legs at him.

I'd had some good fun with him out the garden before I fired it off though. We even saw Katie do her first poo of the day in the Poo Pit when we swapped the bunnies out together. She squatted down on the edge and then gradually kind of edged backwards, inch by inch before deciding she'd found a comfy spot. It was very strange how precise she was.

Daddy was back at his silly gaming tonight though, playing his 'bluff Yorkshireman' Albert Woolshaggery in Uncle Julian's Hawkmoon game. Uncle Julian has assured Mummy that he really did randomly role a Grim Northerner and this wasn't just him being mean about Yorkshireness. What are the odds?

So anyway, because Daddy wasn't here naturally I decided I would have some quality time with just myself and Mummy after Amber went to bed. So I stayed awake till gone 9 even though my last feed was at 8, wasn't that kind of me?

Night night and sleep tight everyone.

Snotbox

That's what Daddy calls me, and he should know as him and Mummy have been wiping the lovely stuff off my face all day. And most of last night. So much for Daddy's lie-in.

Daddy is feeling a bit snuffly and off-colour himself, and is worried I may have given my little germfest to him. Which considering it is my big sister's Birthday Party tomorrow morning at the place with the big balls (as Daddy calls it) means there may be trouble ahead. It also means he will only be doing a short post tonight, so enjoy it while it lasts.

In other news, I have managed to have loads of playtime with my big sister today for the first time all week due to her sickyness. It's been great fun, we even ballroom danced once and Daddy made that 'Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww' noise when we did it.

I wore my new black T-shirt today, I am teh Goth. Yes, granted the huge pink coat over the top when we went to the harbour this evening kind of destroyed the effect, but what the hell. I felt Gothy. As well as snotty.

I also set a new record for sheer splashiness at bathtime tonight. I rock.

Night night and sleep tight everyone.

Attack Of The Killer Swans (With Extra Really Big Waves)

Mummy is scared of swans! I never knew this until this afternoon. We went to Mudeford Quay when the rain stopped and the sun poked out a tiny bit, but when we got there the winds were high and the tide was very high, so when we went to the harbour path the water was lapping over the edges.

Daddy turned away to look at a birdie and when he looked back he saw there was a swan right behind Mummy and me. Mummy shrieked and jumped away, and suddenly it seemed like every swan in the world could see our bread (and Daddy's Danish pastry) and started to clamber out of the water together. It was awesome!

Mummy didnt think so though. Even when Daddy became the bread-waving Pied Piper of Mudeford and led about a dozen of them away and even hand-fed the really pushy ones, Mummy kept calling his name when one or two stray ones came to play with us because Amber had another loaf of bread. He seemed to be a bit busy protecting his Danish though. He said one swan that wouldn't leave him alone must have a Sweet Beak.

Just when we thought Daddy had managed to take them all over to him, he saw that one swan had been wandering across the green all by itself and was coming up behind us. We think maybe it was the Goth Swan from the other night. Mummy and I had to get away very quickly as we thought it might bite us or make us listen to Marilyn Manson or something.

Once Daddy had managed to get most of the swans back in the water with a trail of bread we went to the main part of the Quay where the sea is. And I saw something I've never seen before - because of the wind and the very high tide the sea was crashing into the sea wall and was washing and crashing right over the edge under the rails and into the car park. People's car tyres were getting wet, and you couldn't walk along some of the main pathway unless you wanted your feet to get really wet.

There are three levels to the sea wall part of the quay, two steps and then a big five foot high wall. There were a few bits where the water was actually splashing up on top of the whole wall! My big sister is so brave, she decided to walk the whole length of the upper step and back again despite the big waves crashing up. Daddy said the sea missed its cue because when she got to the other end and waved at us a huge wave crashed up and would have soaked her all over - about five seconds after she started walking back.

Where the railing meets the sea wall the waves meet something weird called a 'cross-current', Daddy says, so the waves look like they are going to roll right in over the edge but then sort of stop. But today when there was only a small wave going sideways when a really big one rolled in it really did wash all the way over and soak everyone's feet who was within about thirty feet of the edge - Mummy said Amber could play chicken with it because some other children with wellies on were already doing it. And the sea won because she got soaked up to the knees in the first minute, hehehehe.

Daddy said that would happen because Amber usually gets her feet wet when they walk the beach to Granny and Grandad's and they go next to the tide. We always make sure she has an extra pair of socks and trousers just in case.

We are going to buy a tide timetable so we can try and visit the Quay at high tide again when its windy, and also next time Mummy and Daddy promise they will remember their mobile phones so they can get some pictures of the giant waves. Poor lambs, they just aren't up there in the hightech age like I am.

Daddy says that sometimes in the winter when the sea is really stormy they have to close the entire car park and stop the cars getting in because the sea rolls all the way over and floods it out. I'd love to see that.

By the way, tonight I am trying out my new baby sleeping bag for the first time as my little lungs need the window open a bit but this means its getting cold. As I like to be really close and snuggly in my cot this should help me sleep better. Wish Mummy and Daddy luck!

Night night and sleep tight everyone.

Daddy Broke The Puter & Other Stories

Silly daddy. He was cleaning the nasty dust off the vents in the puter and he thinks maybe its his magnetic personality that has stopped a bit of it from working. He is understandably miffed off about this so I've given him four poos and rivers of dribble today to help him feel better.

He has decided that my poos smell like rice pudding that has gone off. As apparently my first solid food is going to be baby rice I'm getting a little nervous about this thought.

Mummy is going to make Daddy watch a chick-flick tonight as punishment for being all annoyed when he broke the puter. I'm not sure what that means but it must be like that film with the piggy in it that we watched yesterday, only with a cute little chick in it.

My big sister went to Marwell Zoo today and brought me back a birdie - a penguin that Daddy wants to call 'Plonker' only Mummy won't let him. Apparently I am supposed to name all my toys myself, so I want to be like Amber and have chainmail teddybears called cool things like Skullsplitter.

In the evening we went to Mudeford Quay again and I went to sleep in my new megacoat. It keeps me toasty warm and Mummy likes it because she can cuddle me afterwards and warm herself up. We saw eighteen swans, but Daddy says one of them was having a Goth day because it swam away from its friends and didn't want to have food fights like the others did.

Daddy says that one year there were proper Black Swans living in the reeds opposite Christchurch Quay. I wonder if they were Goths too?

My Busy Day

We never found the salesman, in the end. Daddy seemed a bit dissappointed. I looked and looked from my little car seat when we went down to Mudeford Quay this morning, but I just couldn't see him.

When we got to the Quay we did just about my favourite thing ever - feeding the birdies. At Mudeford there are the big white ones with the wings that are twice the size of me, and the little ones that go quack a lot and stay clear of the big white ones, and of course the best ones - the shrieky white ones that snatch the bread right out of the air and hover in front of me almost close enough to touch.

I say almost because no matter how hard I try, Daddy never lets me get quite close enough to grab one to take home and play with. It'd be great to have my own birdie to speak Shriek with, but the little guys never seem to want to let me cuddle them, even when I stick out my little arms, kick my little legs and use my most persuasive Shriek speeches. I can feel the beat of their wings on my little face, but they always fly off a bit just when I think I can get one of them to be my new friend.

There are lots of people at the Quay. Some of them coo over me, and Mummy likes it. But when some of the old ladies ask how old I am, but they always seem to think I'm a boy, which is probably why Mummy keeps making me wear pink even though Daddy says she swore blind I was going to be a tomboy from the day I was born.

After we fed the birdies, Mummy took me home for my feed and Daddy and big sister Amber went off to walk the beach from Mudeford to Highcliffe (where my Granny and Grandad live) because Amber wanted to build a barrier to stop the sea coming in. When they got to Granny and Grandad's Amber had very wet feet and Daddy said it had worked really well except for the bits when the sea washed over it and it crumbled away.

Going to Granny's is sometimes fun. Sometimes I get lots of cuddles from Mummy and Daddy and they take me into the huge garden which has an actual wood at the end, yay the Grannygarden! I also get to sit in Granny's little house which lives in the Grannygarden and has very creaky chairs in it.

Sometimes it isn't fun. Sometimes they let Granny cuddle me, and I scream my freaking head off. Grandad thinks this is very funny, Mummy feels guilty and Daddy mutters about babies being scared of Dragons. I don't think he means Granny to hear, but he always seems to talk loudly enough for her to just about hear it, and she thumps him around the ear and he says 'ow' just like when Mummy does it.

Today was a fun day. I had lots of giggles in the little house in the garden with Mummy and Amber and Granny, while Daddy ate his lunch with Grandad. Mummy rolled her eyes and said they were talking about Pottylicks again, which doesn't make much sense because I've heard about potties, and I don't know why anyone would want to lick one, I mean really!

Then Mummy went inside and Daddy came out to cuddle me, and Amber ran away from a spider that was inside a bucket. I thought this was very funny, especially when Daddy pantomined the tiny spider jumping out and ripping Amber's face off and said not to worry, it was about the size of his fingernail and he could definitely beat it in a fair fight.

Then I had my feed and I fell asleep. When I woke up we were in the big place with all the people and the things to buy, and I smiled at everyone and they made Squee noises. I don't speak Squee yet, I think it must be for grownups only.

But my day wasn't over yet...after my next feed we went back to Mudeford again, joy! This time it was getting dark as we arrived, and we went to the harbour side of the Quay where there were lots and lots of swans, double joy!

Daddy counted 21 of them all trying to grab the bread off us and fight each other for it. Swans bite each others necks when they fight, they are mean birdies sometimes.

But there was also two ducks having a *huge* fight, Mummy even filmed it on the camera. I felt quite dizzy watching them go round and round in a big circle, flapping and quacking. The swans stopped eating our bread to watch them too, I think they were taking bets on the winner.

Daddy took pictures of Mummy and I kneeling down to feed them, then Mummy tried to use the timer on the camera to take some of all of us. But Daddy wouldn't stand still and kept being really silly when Mummy asked him to stand in a certain place with me. No matter how hard she tried to explain it to him, he seemed to keep getting it wrong. Amber thought it was very funny, and Daddy seemed to laugh a lot as Mummy got all annoyed with him. I wonder about my Daddy sometimes, I thought he was cleverer than that.


Then I went home and had a bath with Mummy, and then, and this is the funny thing, Daddy got all annoyed with her instead because she forgot everything for my bath - soap, shampoo, my ducks, my sponge, towels, everything! And Daddy seemed to get more and more miffed every time she asked him to bring up something new that she had forgotten. She whispered something to me about 'revenge' which is a funny word she uses a lot. So does Daddy in fact.

They both seemed to be a bit tired after all the excitement of the bath, so as I was having my last feed I decided to give them a nice big present to cheer them up and detonated a Size Four in my nappy. I'm sure they were very grateful.

Night night and sleep tight everyone.