Witnesses report that a brave Daddy heroically let a swan peck at his arm - twice - to prevent it from possibly doing the same to his cute, gorgeous, insomniac baby girl. It seems the Daddy and baby (with big sister) were at 'the bridges' in Christchurch when the swan decided to come out of the water and try to eat their lunches. When they failed to share it grew agitated and was only diverted by some of the duck's bread they had bought. However, our intrepid reporter has discovered that the swan then decided to try to sneak up on the stationary buggy just as the baby was being lifted out for the ritual Feeding of the Birdies, and came within a few inches of the baby's arms.
The Daddy then heroically placed his arm between the baby and the hissing, greedy swan and quickly unstrapped her and lifted her out whilst fending off the nasty swan. He was very brave and noble and wonderful and didn't tell our reporter to say that at all.
They say lightning doesn't strike twice, but our cute and gorgeous reporter's sources tell us that in this case this isn't true. These poor, brave people have been victims of multiple swan attacks on previous occasions.
"I don't know why they seem to target us," said the Daddy, shrugging his ruggedly handsome and noble face. "They must have just got to know our faces by now and that we always have lots and lots of bread because we love feeding the birdies so very very much. And they're such greedygrots that they don't want to wait for us to actually give them the bread."
Have you been a victim of a swan attack too? Are you worried by the possibility of escalating swan attacks? Send your swan attack horror stories to the Editor at tabloidbirdiefrenzies@lulunews.com.
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